My dad is showing a strong interest in Crossroads Community Church, where I attend. I just got home from church with him and I am doing everything in my will power to not scream. Actually hold on......I just yelled into a pillow, muffling the sounds so the neighbors in this complex don't call 911 in concern.
I don't want to go to church with him. I am better when I go a long period without talking to him. It sounds ludicrous and selfish of me. I realize that. However, conversing with him only makes me want to bang my head against a wall or massage my temples before answering his questions. He suffers from several mental disorders and that cause a chain reaction to each other. Anxiety takes over if he could run out of his sedatives or other psychiatric drugs. He obsesses (OCD) about his mood.
My seventh grade year was probably the last of times that I considered him a "father figure." I prefer to keep him "out there," just someone else to see at family get-togethers.
There is no one out there who can simply tell me, "oh, get over it" or "just make it work." Quite frankly, there is nothing to make it work. I have 0% patience when dealing with him.
I pray to God everyday as my Lord and Savior. I read the Bible and try not to let finances bind me or control me. Then I talk to him as he only has bills and an income to talk about. He never sees past numbers. Everything has a number to it. He is so inside the box that he can't see that there are four corners to it. He doesn't live life freely - he obsesses. As others can move from thought to thought or feeling to feeling he isn't susceptible to leaving such things behind. He doesn't care about my passions, only my monetary security. One time my mom told me "you sound like your dad." I stopped dead in my tracks and did what I could to completely repent my ways. When I was in college I knew I should never follow my dad's footsteps, that went no where but a circle around and around his bank account.
I would love for him to learn all about God, recite Bible verses in Faith. However, I honestly don't want to go to church with him. God could be putting me in a position to learn about the depths of patience and how He really can reach everyone, even those that currently worship their controlled little environment.
I just have to pray that this goes in God's hands because if it goes into mine the outcome will be ugly.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Thursday, October 20, 2011
The Economy
I will not fall prey to this economy. I will not accept "whatever I can get." I have passions and goals with one life to live. For the first time I am slowly stepping out of my comfort zone to pursue a job that holds my personal values in it. I have been a hostess, server, sales associate for retail, and a nanny. I enjoyed working each of these jobs and they always came at a time when I needed a paycheck. Now, I am ready for more, more than just a pay check.
Every US citizen should know that our country has seen brighter days. One doesn't have to look far to find someone who is searching for a job or dealing with a loss of value in their home. If a company has had a decent profit margin in the past few years it is considered more impressive than ever.
I did not major in finance, however if this country wasn't trying to "keep up with the Jones" we wouldn't have these perplexing financial issues. Of course America is out of money, we have spent it all. If saving and financing were commodities people, businesses, and the government would have more stability.
In the past couple of years of exploring the job market I have realized the most opportunity lies in the restaurant industry. An ABC news report conveyed us spending just as much on fast food and restaurants as we did 5 years ago. While citizens won't financially support their local school systems, they still dine out for a special meal. So much for art, music, and sports for students. I wonder if children can thrive off of standardized testing. This doesn't describe everyone and I welcome any debaters, but numbers and news broadcasters don't lie.
Although, I don't like that I am job searching in this economy. I refuse to be a product of this era and live for purely monetary means. My name is Sarah Bode, I have many things to learn, and people to help.
Every US citizen should know that our country has seen brighter days. One doesn't have to look far to find someone who is searching for a job or dealing with a loss of value in their home. If a company has had a decent profit margin in the past few years it is considered more impressive than ever.
I did not major in finance, however if this country wasn't trying to "keep up with the Jones" we wouldn't have these perplexing financial issues. Of course America is out of money, we have spent it all. If saving and financing were commodities people, businesses, and the government would have more stability.
In the past couple of years of exploring the job market I have realized the most opportunity lies in the restaurant industry. An ABC news report conveyed us spending just as much on fast food and restaurants as we did 5 years ago. While citizens won't financially support their local school systems, they still dine out for a special meal. So much for art, music, and sports for students. I wonder if children can thrive off of standardized testing. This doesn't describe everyone and I welcome any debaters, but numbers and news broadcasters don't lie.
Although, I don't like that I am job searching in this economy. I refuse to be a product of this era and live for purely monetary means. My name is Sarah Bode, I have many things to learn, and people to help.
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