Guy after guy, date after date, dinner after dinner. Expectations are set and soars high. It's only hours, minutes, or days that it comes crashing down again. This is not the guy for me. Here I am again, alone. Sometimes I am left brokenhearted, but more often, I am relieved. Relieved that I don't have to continue a relationship with someone who has insecurities, burdens, and sometimes character flaws.
Through my years of meeting several guys in the Tri-State area I am left questioning, "God, is this all there is??" I have been on Eharmony, Christianmingle, and Match.com. Sadly, I have also been on Cupid, AYI, and other free dating websites. I may as well post, "Only contact me if I find you unattractive and old."
Family members have told me, "I can't imagine the patience you must have for all the guys you have dated."
Friends inform me, "I don't even know any guys to set you up with." After years of this, there is a part of me that feels.... dead and... empty. No hope. Where is my rescuer? Where is the one that will make all this non-sense worth it?
Luke 5: 4-5 says this, "When he had finished speaking he said to Simon, 'Put out into deep water, and let down your nets for a catch.' Simon answered, 'Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But, because you say so, I will let you down the nets.'"
God knows what He's doing. I have tried and tried; tried some more to only have failure stare me in the face. Reading these verses, I sense Him telling me that He will tell me who and He will tell me when. So much so that tears come to my eyes and my heart smiles a little.
Through all the dates, bad relationships, and broken hearts I forgot to hope for love. A love that will be worth it. A love that doesn't come because I wore the right outfit, or sent the right email, or looked "hot" enough. A love that God predestined as exciting, revolutionary, and completely unexpected.
