I am not wishing my life away. At least, most of the time I am not. Every day should be enjoyed to it's fullest - even the bad ones. Those days provide a lot of lessons, a lot of leaning on God, and potentially give interesting stories for the future. In order to enjoy each day I am finding that it takes a lot of trust in God. Otherwise all I do is follow a list of chores to be done - "I will feel better if I can just control something." Or I worry about tomorrow ... and that is the worst. Why worry? As Brian Tome said, "we came into this world butt naked!" We all have heard, "You can't take it with you." 28 years ago from this very date of Fri. Jan. 13 I was an embryo. I was a little chunk of cells. Now I sit with my legs crossed, my fingers type to form coherent sentences, and my heart pumps blood to every cm. in my body. God is in charge!! I must enjoy each day as it comes. I need to use the resources God has given me, whether it be energy, time, money, relationships, for His benefit.
Now, how can every minute, every dollar, every encounter with another human be used for His benefit? I don't know. Those details take a lot of communication with Him to find out. But, no worries, Faithfulness to Him is really what He wants - Not Success. Running is very symbolic for me and I will use it to exemplify my train of thought. After stretching yesterday I got on the treadmill and instantly sped it up to run 10 min. miles. This is REALLY fast for me. The first two miles I was out of breath, I was not enjoying myself, my mind and legs felt completely uncomfortable with this pace. After the first two miles though I adapted a bit and I almost... liked that pace. The only reason I even attempted to run 4 miles and shave off 4 minutes from my usual 5.5 mph pace is because I am following a plan given to me from a runner's store in hopes of setting a PR on May 6, 2012. The schedule is making me run with speed, up hills, miles on top of miles that I would not do based on my feelings or even, my logic. (My logic would tell me 'if you want to cover 13.1 miles get in your car and drive it. Getting skinny = run 1 mile + eating very little.) Instead, I am following a schedule given to me by someone who I consider an elite runner. He is in his 50's, has run several marathons, and doesn't let the weather stop him. (The weather has stopped me from walking to my car :() However, this training is teaching me perseverance, that I should NEVER give up, and every stride is vital to get to the finish line. Most importantly, I love that I am able to do something that I didn't deem possible 4, 5, 6 years ago...covering 13.1 miles with nothing but my own two legs, O2 in my lungs, a pumping hear, and many prayers to God.
What if I told God, using all of my heart, that I wanted to follow his schedule for the next 50 weeks? Where would I be on Jan. 1, 2013?
The older I get the more I realize that if God doesn't tell me to do it I shouldn't do it. If I don't give something because of Him I shouldn't give it.
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