Ninety percent of you may not believe what I will write in this blog. However, I feel compelled to write about it. This story begins from 10, 15, maybe 20 years ago. That doesn't matter though. A lot of it is fuzzy, but has slowly come into focus. We have all had experiences that make us ask, "all right, God what's going on?" My experience could be a long story. However, I will cut out the useless information and focus on what I know to be true.
My dating history holds memories of drama, jerks, good guys, tears, bitter anger, emails, online dating, and one long, committed relationship that lasted 6 months! Roughly 5 to 6 years ago God told me I wouldn't meet my husband online. That was it. So, what did I do??? Go through years of not giving up and determined to find a guy who REALLY liked me online. It failed miserably. Not only did I not find a guy who wants to marry me, I did not find a man I want to marry.
One particular situation I tried to, once again, win over a guy. Gold told me clearly, "Don't worry about it, He is not the one." So, what did I do?? I talked to, dated, and worried if this guy liked me for the next 18 months!!! The climatic ending was when he chose a girl across the country to pursue. However, he apparently decided to end that "romance" 6 weeks later. A number of times I have put my head in my hands and think, "God, you were right."
On Fourth of July I was introduced to a man who does ministry on UC via eHarmony. I decided he was the one. A minister from Alabama who has traveled extensively and is now making Cincinnati home?? Sign me up!!
Sometime during July, when most of my waking hours were spent day dreaming of being a minister's wife that traveled, God told me His Truth when I woke up one morning. He said, "You're husband is getting his act together and isn't ready for you." I got the image of a guy sitting on the edge of his bed, putting his head in his hands and there was a history of drug use. WHAT??? "Well, how long is this going to take??" I asked him. He didn't answer me. It's possible He was rolling his eyes. Once again, I didn't take God's words seriously. I was emailing A MINISTER. Didn't God see that I had the perfect guy picked out???
After 5 weeks of emailing back and forth with THE MINISTER his true colors were revealed. I took it upon myself to inform him of his character flaws from my perspective. He apologized and that was that. The experience made me sit back and declare, "So God, 6 years ago when you told me I wasn't going to meet my husband online... you were serious and that plan won't change??"
A good friend of mine heard my dating history synopsis. She knows God and she knows me. She told me to respect God and never do online dating again. Whenever I feel tempted, she said, text her. Then she took it upon herself to fast and pray for my current singleness and my future husband. That same night I felt her love and encouragement my mom gave me more information to keep the ball rolling.
"I have been praying for your future husband and God told me that 'he's in trouble' and that I should pray for him," she said.
The more I date, the more I realize that my marriage will be miraculous. It will have God written all over it. I have used all my sources and my way isn't working. God take over because the man you have in mind is obviously someone I will love. And that never happens under my direction!!
Who knows?? Maybe God told my future husband, "I have a wife for you, but she is a hot mess!!"
No comments:
Post a Comment